Golf Central

What the hell do Chris Evert, Greg Norman, mystery blondes and Rory Sabbatini's amazing vanishing act have to do with one another? And what do they have to do with golf (well apart from the obvious Chrissie and Greg bit ...)? Carry on here, and find out more in our weekly essential list of stuff that helps us be marginally smarter and more worldy wise than we were seven days ago...

1. Tiger Woods had a nice holiday:

Ten weeks away from the action clearly did the World Number One a power of good as he won the Target World Golf Challenge by a record 7-shots.

2. Rory Sabbatini clearly couldn’t wait to get on the beach either:

Seeing Tiger look so rested and relaxed, the usually combative South African decided to duck out of  the final day’s action, pocket the $170,000 appearance fee and headed straight for his Christmas break in Maui.

3. And we thought press conferences were never interesting unless Paul Azinger was around…:

Then a mystery blonde turned up for Tiger’s press conference last week and asked him: “Do you think my boyfriend is gay because he screams out your name during sex?” She was led away before she got an answer and we got her number…

4. What goes up…:

Nice to finally see Darren Clarke’s name back near the top of the leaderboard, coming tied for third at The South African Open, just three shots behind the winner James Kingston.

5. …Must come down:

Colin Montgomerie’s recent run of poor form means he’s slipped out of the world’s Top 50 players, which puts his place at next year’s Masters in jeopardy.

6. You can’t keep a good woman down:

Not without use of chloroform, or a baseball bat around the noggin - not that we advocate violence against women, of course. We’re just joking… Anyway, Annika Sorenstam proved that she’s still got what it takes, by retaining her Dubai Ladies’ Masters title – her first win of an injury-ravaged year.

7. Forget Jack Nicholson, Freddie Couples is our new favourite…:

If he was made Ryder Cup captain he’s make Michael Jordan and Robin Williams his assistants. Why? Because it would be a laugh. "If we lose, we lose because we lose, but I can promise you we'd have a good time."

8. Greg Norman doesn’t hang about:

Just a few weeks after The Great White Shark, who came an impressive 7th in last week’s South African Open, agreed a $100million settlement with his ex-wife he announced his engagement to Chris Evert. And you wonder where he got that nickname from…

9. You can get a game of golf virtually anywhere:

Rhys Davies, Lloyd Saltman, Ross Bain, Simon Dunn and Mark Mouland were among the Brits who made it through Asian Tour Q School in Malaysia last week. You’ve got to feel for Lloyd’s older brother Elliot, though, who missed out by a shot with a double on the last hole…

10. …Which just proves that golf will get you in the end:

Even Irish wonderkid Rory McIlroy got a reminder who’s boss last week, posting an 11-over-par 83 in the first round of the South African Airways Open.