Golf Central

On this day in 1933, the golf legend Gene Sarazen, still burning from the effects of a severe flu which laid him low in hospital in Santa Monica, California, woke up in a cold sweat and announced to the golf world that he had an idea to transform the game of golf - which he claimed "needs greater thrills."

People listened to the wildly popular Sarazen back then, as they do with Tiger now. But Sarazen's idea was just, shall we say, a bit daft. Little Geno's plan was to expand the size of the standard golf cup from 4¼ inches to 8 inches. His reasoning: "If the cups were bigger, the average player still would take his two putts, but the expert would knock his in every time. There would be the thrill to get that second shot close to the cup." Believe it or not, the saga got stranger still ...

Once the nurses had towelled off Sarazen's fevered brow, the pros actually gave it a go. "Wild" Bill Mehlhorn, who was great tee-to-green and abysmal on the greens, was one of the first to sign up for the 1933 Gasparilla Open in Tampa, Florida, using 8-inch cups. Many of the American pros actually liked the idea. But indignant howls were heard all the way from Britain, the "home of golf", from whence these quotes were issued:

• "Farcical!" -- Sandy Herd, 1902 Open champion
• "Absurd!" -- James Braid, five-time Open champion
• "The walls would crumble! The very idea makes me angry!" -- six-time Open champion Harry Vardon

The idea died a quiet death, not least because some USGA officials suggested that the publicity-happy Sarazen had raised the topic simply to keep his name in the press - but most importantly, because that gentleman of gentlemen's golfers, Bobby Jones, subtly remarked: "It might make an interesting game, but it would not be golf."

And in those days, people listened to Jones a lot, even though he was three years retired. In many ways, they still do, given the anticipation we feel to this day awaiting Jones' annual invitiational tournament - the Masters - in April.

(Editor's note: The reasons for golf's 4.25-inch hole diameter remains apocryphal, but in 1829 the Royal Musselburgh Golf Club had invented a hole-cutter with that diameter and a local foundry provided the moulds to St Andrews and the other golf links around Scotland during the game's boom years. The Royal & Ancient Club adopted the official size of 4¼ inches in the Rules of Golf in 1891, and so it remains today. Mind you, Sergio García would probably be in Sarazen's corner. After all, with an 8-inch cup, the tee-to-green champ Sergio would have made that par putt on No. 18, and how many others, at Carnoustie last year and won the Claret Jug easily instead of Padraig Harrington) ...

That said, here are some other fascinating historical tidbits from the "It Sounded Like A Good Idea At The Time" Department:

• On this day in 1776, the England-born intellectual Thomas Paine published his rabble-rousing pamphlet Common Sense. Paine's little booklet became a must-read among disenfranchised Americans in the Colonies, and it is credited with helping foster the rebellion which climaxed in America's independence from Paine's own Britain seven years later. Among the "common sense" ideas Paine espoused was that it is nonsense for a faraway island to govern a huge continent. IGWT verdict: Good idea - even though a lot of Americans even today would be happy to use those pretty stamps with the Queen on them. And proper pubs would be nice, too ... Oh yeah, and nice cops without guns ...
  
• On this day in 1861, the state of Florida voted to secede from the United States, joining forces with the the growing Confederate insurgency. The South lost the Civil War, Florida sheepishly came back into the Union, but was somehow instrumental in George W. Bush's tainted 2000 presidential election. IGWT verdict: Good idea, bad result. Never should have let Florida back in to begin with, and never mind Bush, everyone knows that the "real" Orange County is in California, not Florida ... OK, most of the world's pro golfers live in Florida nowadays, but just think of the tax haven if Florida was independent! They could even elect Bush as their own president, since he'll be out of his current job in 375 mercifully short days (not like anyone's counting) ...
• On this day in 1863, the London Underground railway opened to an amazed public. On that day, 30,000 passengers rode the Tube. It's estimated that 600 million passengers a year use the Tube each year now, bearing out the idea's brilliance; however, at least 599 million of those are seemingly sitting right next to me most days reeking of Carling, eating skunk-like kebabs, and blasting Cascada's Everytime We Touch on their "personal music listening devices", and without their knowledge, are within seconds of one of two things: My mercifully close exit at the next Tube stop, or violent death by strangulation. IGWT verdict: Mixed.
• On this day in 1964, the Beatles released their first album on a US label, entitled "Introducing the Beatles (England's No. 1 Vocal Group)" and featuring the singles I Saw Her Standing There, Love Me Do, Do You Want To Know A Secret, and Twist And Shout. IGWT verdict: A damn fine idea, indeed.
• And on this day in 2007, that man again, George W. Bush bumbled through an announcement that yet another 21,500 American troops would be sent to Iraq to quell the violence there. IGWT verdict: Has Bush ever had a good idea?

That said, it's kia huritau ki a koe!, as Maori musicians say, to serial-shagging Scots singer Rod Stewart (63); Donald Fagen (60), half of the cerebral jazz-rockers Steely Dan; and tough rock-chick Pat Benatar (55), who a lot of guys still would like to have a shot of Jack Daniels and a game of pool with. It's also a happy 59th to former heavyweight champ George Foreman, who when not kicking butt is happy to smile a lot and sell you millions of his Lean, Mean Grilling Machines. (A great product by the way, nice one, George, and we don't just say that because we're afraid of you) ...

It also would have been a birthday for the great Russian prima ballerina Galina Ulanova (b. 1910), who might still be wowing audiences if ballet didn't either bore people to tears, or to death (in Galina's case, the latter, in 1998).