Golf Central

Anytime any of you are feeling a bit down, depressed or worthless out there on the golf course this year, consider this: Tiger Woods - the greatest player the world has ever seen by aeons - miles, sucks. That's right, Tiger sucks ... in his own words. Here are some of Tiger's quotes, verbatim*, during the week in which he crushed a world-class ensemble at Torrey Pines en route to matching Arnold Palmer with 62 wins on the all-time PGA Tour list with an 8-shot victory at the Buick Invitational. To wit ...:

1. "It was pretty embarrassing. I hit a terrible tee shot over to the right ..."
2. "Whether it was 5-wood, 3-wood or driver, I didn't drive it very good at all ..."
3. "Yesterday was terrible. I drove it like a dog ..."
4. "I just have to hit the ball better than I'm hitting it right now ..."
5. "I hit a low left ball or a spinny high right. Kind of hard to aim when you've got both of those things going ..."
6. "Five was just a terrible shot."
7. "I chickened out on it because I was hitting a big hook ..."
8. "I was trying to hit a kind of low cut, to be honest with you, I hit it off the toe and hit a draw."
9. "I've gotten some pretty good breaks ..."
10. "It would have probably gone six, seven feet by, but it had a train wreck and went in."

* Quotes taken out of context of course! We're journalists, we're expected to do that, but keep in mind that Tiger won in record fashion, despite the fact that by his words you might think he missed the cut. Interview transcripts courtesy of ASAP transcripts, the service which took the Biro out of the hands of old-school golf scribes and turned some of them into superstars.