Golf Central

Our suspicions that golf tournaments, strippers and kids don't mix have been confirmed this week. We've also learned that Michelle Wie's rubbish at golf, hygiene standards are dropping and that golf isn't a sport apparently? But you probably already knew that...

1. Golf carts should be street legal (Part 7098)
With petrol prices so ridiculously high, city commissioners in Sandusky, Ohio, have agreed to let certain types of golf carts on city streets as of July 23rd. Carts will need to pass a safety inspection before they hit the roads, and vehicles deemed road worthy will be given a sticker of approval. So that's one city down, a few million to go..
2. Michelle Wie should quit while she's behind
A quintuple-bogey 9 on the par-four ninth during the first round of the US Women's Open? It was as painful for us to watch as it was for you to play, if truth be told, Michelle. C'mon, I think we all know golf isn't the sport for you...
3. Hygiene standards aren't what they used to be...
... Especially at Arrowhead GC, Illinois, where a virus at the club’s restaurant sickened about 40 employees and 60 members. A state lab identified the illness as a norovirus, which is highly contagious and could have been brought into the restaurant by anyone. The illness caused nausea and other flulike symptoms for about 24 hours. You’d imagine members will be taking a packed lunch to nibble on-course in the future…
4. Golf and strippers don't mix
Ever heard the one about a kid's golf tournament clashing with a strip club golfing event? Neither had we until we heard about a scheduling cock-up that saw a Junior Golf Association tournament in Colorado clash with a Shotgun Willie's Charity golf event. It's probably the only golf course in the world that you'll see 7 to 12 year old kids mixing it with 70 strip club dancers. We're told that nothing inappropriate happened in front of the children, but at least one parent complained, saying, 'When I walked into the clubhouse to look for my girls, I saw a woman straddling a male at a dining table.'
5. Golf isn’t a sport, apparently
Why is it that people feel the need to question golf’s status as a sport? Take columnist Michael Lewis, for example, who argues that golf isn’t a sport because the ‘rich, important people’ who play it ‘often lack athletic ability, and… are also fat and physically lazy.’ I'm sure John Daly would have something to say about that...
6. Crime and golf don’t mix (part 459)
Try telling that to 31-year-old golf tournament volunteer, Jason Osborne, who was arrested at the Travelers Championship for driving a golf cart into a parked car… and leaving the scene. Jason, you’ve brought shame to the name of golf, but more importantly, on the name of the golf cart.
7. Sean Connery loves his golf
We love him for lending his suave, ultra-sexy voice to a new film promoting Scotland as the home of golf, but we’re not pleased about the fact he’s given his support to Donald Trump’s £1bn golf resort in Aberdeenshire.