Golf Central

We've learned a lot from golf this week... seven things, would you believe? We now know that greenkeeping staff have been cutting corners big time, being Welsh is rubbish, Kenny Perry's a pretty decent golfer and male golfers in Essex are being encouraged to wear shorts on the golf course... that can't be a good thing, surely?

1. Mike Souchak will be missed

The 15-time PGA Tour winner who appeared on two US Ryder Cup teams passed away last Thursday after a heart attack. Souchak had 11 top-ten finishes at the majors and set the 72-hole record of 257 (27-under) par until Mark Calcavecchia beat it in 2001.

2. Kenny Perry is quite good at golf

Two wins on the trot? Three titles and three top ten finishes in 2008? $4,331,350 in prize money? This guy can play golf...

3. Frinton GC is pretty liberal

Committee members at the uber-traditional Essex club have, after 113 years, relaxed a rule which had men wearing knee-length socks with shorts.... now they can wear short socks with shorts. Oh the joy...

4. It's not a good week to be Welsh

Forget Tiger Woods not being at Royal Birkdale this week, because for the first time since WWII, not one Welshamn will be teeing it up at this year's Open Championship. What would Dai Rees say, boios?

5. Haywards Heath's greenkeepers are rubbish

11 of the 18 holes at the West Sussex track have been ruined after the fairways were watered with weedkiller instead of water, scorching the grass as a result. The fairways may not return to normal until spring 2009, but thank heavens for insurance, hey?

All he said was 'get to the hole you ponce,' and the media jump on his back about it like there's no tomorrow. Get over it already...

7. Golf and alligators (part 752)

A diver fetching golf balls at a Californian track came face to face with a three-foot caiman last week. The local animal control unit has made several unsuccessful attempts at catching it, so it's still on the loose...