Golf Central

We like to think ourselves as guardians of law & order at InGolfWeTrust. Nonetheless, we couldn't fail to be secretely impressed by the recent antics of 19-year Robert Henderson. It's partly the fact that he chose a golf buggy parked at the starter's hut at Dalmahoy Country Club to go joyriding in. So much classier than a Corsa. We were also taken by the fact that he took plenty of supplies for the journey - 24 chocolate bars in fact.

Where it all went wrong for us was when police also found 48 miniatures on his person, after he had ditched the vehicle over the edge of nearby Ratho Quarry. Pleading guilty to theft and admitting he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs, Henderson has been ordered to perform 100 hours of community service.

Rumours that Irvine Welsh is negotiating film rights for the story were made up in the kitchen of a member of the IGWT team while listening to Stan Collymore going on about the African Cup Of Nations. For the full story - on the theft, not the football - click here.