Golf Central

There’s something funny going on…: Why’s that?
I tuned in to watch the golf and there was Tim Henman, fist-pumping his way to a rare win against someone better than him: An eight year-old child, perhaps?
No, it was Roger Federer before he became the invincible Johan Edfors lookalike he is now: It was one of those strange days all-round. Lightning halted play by midday with Andrew McLardy and Gary Murphy back in the clubhouse having carded a pair of tournament-leading 66s, which is why Sky ended up dredging the highlights barrel.
Never mind it could have been Rhona Martin’s curling team in the 2002 Winter Olympics: Or the England football team’s abject performance last week against Russia. What’s worse is that our local sandwich shop had a totally-unrelated power cut, which meant that its entire stock was binned.
Shame. What did you do for lunch?: Found a packet of wine gums in the kitchen cupboard.
How did Sergio fare by the way?: He’s tied 11th with 68, behind Joakim Backstrom, James Hepworth and Graeme Storm, who all carded 67s.
And how about the guys down at the deep end?: You mean the poor sods fighting for their tour cards? Far too early to say with only half a day’s play gone. We’re got our fingers firmly crossed for James Heath (148), David Park (166) and Robert Rock (130), but they hardly got going before play ended.
So what’s the forecast for tomorrow?: Er, sunny…?
You’ve no idea have you…: No, I haven’t.