Golf Central

"Look Pete, only one hand...you're not waaaaatchiiing"

Give me the scoop, the whole scoop and nothing but the scoop: You what?
Just tell me who's leading OK?:  InGolfWeTrust favourite and  Tommy Hilfiger clothes-horse Nick Dougherty shares an 11-under lead with German sounding South African, Hennie Otto and forgetful Australian Peter O'Malley.
Forgetful?: Yeah, you know those things that you need to play golf with?
Clubs?: Yeah them, he left them at home...
How did he play?: Excellently.11-under-par remember? He equalled Carnoustie's course record with a sublime 64.
No, how did he play with no clubs?: Oh, well he got the owner of the guest-house he's staying in to bring them out for him after he realised that he hadn't put them in the boot.
Wow, now that's service. Who else is challenging?: Well there's a cracking little B&B down near Carnoustie which attracts quite a bit of business, even without a club delivery service.
Very funny: Thanks. Anyway, Els is in third at minus 10, a score he shares with Spain's Gonzalo Fernando-Castano, Britain's Kenneth 'Roll-on Roll-off' Ferrie and South Africa's Anton 'Field Marshall' Haig. Haig's low score also means that he and his partner Schalk Burger share the team lead with Scott 'Steve' Strange and Robert 'Sebastian' Coe.
Schalk Burger? Sounds like a German fast-food joint: He's actually a South-African rugby legend and his son is playing in the Rugby World Cup quarter final tomorrow.
Rugby again?: Sorry, don't worry though, I probably won't mention it again as England are playing Australia today and that'll be that I expect.
Let's hope they all remember their boots...