Golf Central

So today was a big day in Texas for the Fall Series ... how did the big boys do?:  Do you mean John Daly? He says he has the flu or strep throat, or something, and he shot a 72.
No, I mean the other big guys. The big-name fellas who can make or break their chances for a Tour card for next year...:  Well, Jesper Parnevik is leading by four after firing a 61, which is the best of his career.
You mean Jesper the fancy-pants Swedish meatball who eats volcano dirt and hasn't won since 2001 on the PGA Tour?:  That's him. He stopped fiddling about in his missus' wardrobe rack, got himself a cool chapeau at a vintage shop, and started sorting through a bin of putters instead.
Jesper ditched his belly putter?:  It didn't go with the new Michael Stipe rig. He got himself a no-name-brand putter for a couple of bucks and made 8 birdies in his first 12 holes today.
That is one darn cool hat. What about the other players doing the tour-card limbo?:  Ex-PGA champ Bob Tway birdied the last four and is in a pack of 10 on 65. One of those is Robert Gamez, who has to do a Mexican jumping-bean trick all the way from No. 171 on the money list into the Top 125.
That Gamez guy is a human rubber band. Why is he back on the up-swing this time then?:  He says it's because of his short-game guru Stan Utley. And apparently they have good Mexican food around here. Carnitas, gorditas, cochinitas pibil ...
My 20 bucks are on Gamez to blow away the field...:  You said it, not me.