Golf Central

We were almost late, golf fans! But despite the best efforts of delayed - errr, cancelled! - planes, freak injuries and even freakier snowstorms in the south of England, here we are now basking in the scent of magnolias and stogies, to bring you all the best of Augusta. It's Masters week! And it's time for our quality daily postcard ...

Augusta in 12 Words: Lots of daft rich people buying ugly green caps suitable for truckers.

Rumour of the Day: Tiger is officially "ready to win" at Augusta (so say the headlines) ... But unofficially the word says he might be worried about the weather. Chilly mornings and soggy conditions might sound like they play right into the Big Cat's hands as he begins his Grand Slam quest in earnest, but if the greens get too soft, Tiger doesn't putt like a beast (see Doral). He wants lightning-quick greens that suit only his paw prints ...

Player Spotting: Phil Mickelson and Ernie Els, trying to represent Tiger's greatest threats, are fiddling like a pair of tinkers. Both have been experimenting with Callaway's new I-Mix technology, which allows lengthening shafts on their drivers to suit the conditions. And the Big Easy's got a new/old coach in Butch "Butch" Harmon. If you see a big smile, that's rookie Johnson Wagner, who hasn't stopped grinning since his surprise win at Houston got him to Augusta ...

Star Spotting: Strangely, Augusta's never been a big location for celebrity sightings unless you count Tiger and co. The former NFL star Emmitt Smith pops round once in a while, as does old-school Eagles guitarslinger Glenn Frey. But that doesn't stop the free-spending Augusta patrons from making like the stars: At least six cigar tents are doing a mean trade from humidors stuffed with posh brands like Partagas, Arturo Fuente, and Cohibas. And although Castro is dead, there are still no Cubans allowed in this part of the US of A ...

Moody Players: Hard to pick on anyone here. Plenty of smiles in the practice rounds, as you'd expect, but Tiger's been going grimly about his business, meeting the bare commitments and practising alone or with Aussie Richard Green and buddy-buddy Mark O'Meara. And he put a gray cast on the first televised Par-3 Contest by backing out of the Masters' one bit of kid-infested fun again, grumbling: "It's a little bit distracting" ...

Hero of the Day: Before a shot has been fired, we've got to pick the folks who are simply the best at chronicling what happens at Augusta. Why's that? Because they are The Augusta Chronicle, this town's humble (51 weeks a year) broadsheet and one of America's oldest newspapers. Nearly every staffer helps churn out the Chronicle's superb 16-page daily Masters supplement, and even the arts reviewers and coffee ladies know their golf in Augusta. Bless 'em ...

Villain of the Day: It's tempting to finger squabbling Ryder Cup captains Nick Faldo and Paul Azinger for trying to flush away the Masters with BS, but this vote goes to Augusta's legion of badge floggers. Scalpers were getting a starting price of $1,200 for a first-round badge in a hush-hush trade along Washington Road, with weekend badges going for $2,000-plus or up to $3,000 on Ebay. And the cops turn a blind eye to any trade more than a half-mile from the course ... 'Til tomorrow ...