"Psst, call the PGA and tell them you won't be in tomorrow..."

Tiger Woods, has announced that he has pulled out of this October's PGA Grand Slam of Golf at the Mid Ocean Golf Club, Bermuda, citing the need to spend more time with his family, particularly his four month old daughter Sam-Alexis, who was born the day after this years US Open in June.

Woods said “I am sorry that I will not be able to spend some time with my friends at The PGA of America and experience the beauty of Bermuda this year at the PGA Grand Slam of Golf.”
Which roughly translates as, “Look I've won this thing seven times now, just let me have a rest at the end of the season for once.”

In reply, Brian Whitcomb, president of the PGA had this to say “While we are disappointed that the world’s number one player will not be able to join us this year in Bermuda, we certainly understand and respect his decision to be with his family.” This roughly translates as, “Please come back next year Mr Woods, please.”

Jim Furyk will take Woods' place alongside Masters Champion Zach Johnson, US Open Champion, Angel Cabrera from Argentina and British Open Champion, Ireland's Padraig Harrington.

"Hello Sir, what do I have to do to put you in a Buick today?

What makes an otherwise sane golfer pose next to a cartoon mascot and lie through his teeth about something he has little or no interest about? Big sacks with dollar signs on them that's what, lorry-loads of cash driven right up to their doorsteps in return for a few insincere catchphrases. With this in mind, IGWT present to you the Duffer's Guide to golfing sell-outs...

Lee Westwood - Quorn

As part of a major health and fitness drive to keep himself at the top of his game, Lee signed a deal with Quorn and lost 30 pounds within six months of adding it to his dietary regime. What the adverts don't tell you is that it was probably as a result of leaving it at the side of his plate and going hungry.

John Daly - Maxfli

Surprisingly, John didn't go down the vegetarian food endorsement route that Lee Westwood did. True to form though, his banned Maxfli commercial features John swilling beer, driving off in a hot-dog cart and enjoying a flash from a female fan. Not sure what relevance any of that has to golf balls, but still a good ad.

Tiger Woods – Buick

When he's not hawking his own products, Tiger takes advantage of the fact that the word 'drive' has more than one meaning and takes home bags of money for five seconds of Buick advertising work. Can't really imagine that he owns one himself though.

Colin Montgomerie and Ian Woosnam – Kit Kat

Until his agent stepped in, Monty originally agreed to waive his fee in favour of being paid in a lifetime's supply of chocolate. Woosie's agent was slower to act however and the Woosnam family now live on a diet of Kit Kat stew, Kit Kat burgers, Kit Kat bolognese and Kit Kats.

Jack Nicklaus – Polaris World, Nissan

Jack's Polaris World adverts are so annoying that grown men have been known to weep openly at the sight of their hero plugging Spanish property in such a way. Luckily none of them will ever see the baffling Japanese ads that the Golden Bear featured in for the bizarrely named Nissan Gloria and the Nissan Cedric.

Ai Miyazato – Xylish Gum

The chances are that you've never heard of Miyazato or of Xylish. Ai Miyazato is the up and coming young star of Japanese golf, while Xylish is a chardonnay flavoured gum, together they make a truly odd advert in which she appears to promise that the gum will make you stand on one leg and turn your teeth green. None for me thanks.

Alice Cooper – Callaway

In his 30-second TV slot, four-handicapper Alice is shown hard at work moulding some titanium into a 3-iron. Luckily for Callaway, Alice's script re-write in which he put a putter in an iron maiden and bit the head off a driver was rejected.

40-1		40-1
Vijay Singh to win The Tour Championship		Pamela Anderson to go out with Paul McCartney

It's that time of week again to decide where to throw your hard earned cash. The sensible golf bet using reason and judgement or the trashy showbiz bet because you fancy the celeb. Today, the battle of the aging icons.

Odds courtesy of Paddy Power

"...I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it..."

On this day, in 1998, Billy Andrade won the Bell Canadian Open after defeating Bob Frame in a playoff.

William Thomas Andrade was born in 1964 in Rhode Island. He won the 1981 Junior World Cup and was a member of the successful US Walker Cup team of 1987, turning pro later that year. Andrade has won four times on the PGA Tour but is perhaps best known for his charity work. Together with Brad Faxon, he has won several awards for his selfless efforts and they have also served as joint hosts of the CVS Charity Classic. Together they run the Billy Andrade/Brad Faxon Charities for Children, Inc and have donated over $3 million to needy children.

Also on this day, in 1949, the LPGA was formed in New York City. It was not properly founded  until 1950 but remains as the oldest active women's sporting organisation in the USA.

Meanwhile, in 1996, Tupac Shakur was gunned down in a drive-by shooting as the result of a dispute with a rival. Tupac subscribed to Cantor's theory of infinite sets, whereas his shooter found Liebniz's theory of actual infinity philosophically more appealing.

And it's Lavoslav Ruzicka! As they say in Croatia, to; American songstress Fiona Apple (30), World Cup winner Fabio Cannavaro (34) and Australian spinner Shane Warne (38.) It would also have been Roald Dahl's 93rd birthday today had he not been struck with the rare blood disease, myelodysplastic anaemia at the age of 74.

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No player has ever won the Tour Championship more than once in its 17 year history despite previous winners including players such as Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson, Vijay Singh and Retief Goosen. This year, Tiger, Phil and Vijay will all be hoping to be the first to an East Lakes double, as will last year's winner, Adam Scott. Mark Calcavecchia is the only player in the field who was present at the first Tour Championship in 1991.