Golf Central

So was it another day of Worksoppian precision or whatever you called it?: Err not exactly, Lee Westwood couldn't continue his form from yesterday and struggled to a one-over-par 73 and dropped a shot behind leader, Soren Hansen at 11-under.
Is it true that Soren Hansen is Alan Hansen's cousin?: I wish it was. Anyway, Englishman Simon Khan is in third after a round that started off with three birdies in his first five holes.
Simon Khan, any relation to Amir Khan you suppose?: Ummm yeah sure, why not? In fact, just behind Simon Khan is Simon Dyson who is the son of the vacuum cleaner guy.
Wow. Oh, you know Lee Westwood, do you reckon there's any chance...: If you're going to say Tim Westwood, then no, no I don't.
Ok, fair enough, what about the IGWT tips?: I don't think they're related to any celebrities but Bernhard Langer is tied fourth at seven-under, Monty is a shot back from there and Nick Dougherty has dropped down the leaderboard to three-under after a round of 75.

Remember when you laughed at me because I said Atlanta was too wet for golf?: Yes, yes, the first day was a bit of a washout, but you thought Atlanta was Atlantis.
I was kinda right though, anyway, what happened?: Harrington dealt with the conditions with all the aplomb of someone who grew up in a rainy country and finished at minus seven, one shot behind South African Tim Clark who shot an eight-under-par 62.
Harrington and Clark? That wasn't in the script, what about the FedEx hopefuls?:  Script? This isn't WWF of Eastenders or something... anyway Woods lies at six under and predictably is the highest placed of the five in FedEx contention.
So at this rate Tiger's name is on the FedEx?: Yep, unless Stricker can force the engraver's hand, if he manages to win the tournament, he'll claim the cup but he's currently five strokes behind Woods. The only other way we could see a different winner is if Woods had a heart attack or something and dropped out or lost an arm but carried on playing.
Forced the engraver's hand? You can be quite poetic when you want to be...: Thanks my friend and now this is at an end.
You ruined it: Yeah that was terrible. Sorry

I know my ball's around here somewhere...

For the past 60 years, the Three Services Golfing Society have organised around eight golf days a year for World War veterans at various courses around South Wales. Well into their 80's now, the 53 surviving members have decided to call it a day after their last meeting on Tuesday in which only 16 of them were fit enough to take part.

Former British Senior Champion Tom Branton, 86, was among the final group of players: “I’ve had three or four replacement hips, both my knees have been done twice and my doctor suggested I shouldn’t play much at all now.” Pretty impressive that he was out there at all considering all that and the fact that he was already 55 years old when Tiger Woods was born. David Buck, 88 said “We have battled on but the members have all been falling off their tee pegs for a long time now and we wanted to finish in a dignified way.” 

"Ah good, the snack bar's open...wonder if they have Quorn in Germany?"

Have we seen a first day ruled by German precision?: Kinda, more like Worksoppian precision though as Lee Westwood shot a superb 11-under par 61, including 10 birdies and an eagle, to equal the lowest round of his career.
Worksoppian?: Whatever. Do you not want to not want me to tell you that Simon Dyson and his playing partner Nick Dougherty both carded a 66 to tie at joint third?
You just did: So I did, anyway the only player who stands between an all English top three is Soren Hansen whose seven under round of 65 puts him in second place.
Pffft some people have no manners, so who else is challenging?: John Daly, Niclas Fasth, Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano, Simon Khan and Richard Sterne are all tied on five under par after each shot 67.
So with Dougherty doing well, how did the other IGWT tips fare?: Monty and Langer, the host with the most, both finished three under at tied 16th.With the way that Westwood is playing though, they might find being eight shots back is too much.
The host with the most what?: I Dunno, the most German name and most German appearance combination maybe. It's just an expression.
So is 'ok just shut up now': No it's not
Ok, whatever, but just shut up now.: ...

Champagne Tony receives the Claret Jug

On this day, in 1964, Tony Lema won the World Series of Golf. That season he would also take home five PGA events including the British Open, in what proved to be his career year.

Anthony David Lema was born in 1934 in California. He took up golf at a young age, but at 17, enlisted in the army and went to fight in Korea. In 1955, following his discharge, he got a job as assistant to a club pro. Having honed his skills sufficiently, he joined the Tour in 1957 and would win a total of 12 tournaments before his untimely death in a plane crash in 1964. Lema was nicknamed 'Champagne Tony' for his habit of celebrating a win with a bottle of bubbly.

Also on this day, in 1959, a Soviet probe, the Luna 2, crashes into the moon becoming the first man made object to reach it. Responding to the crash, Soviet physicists decide not to get their insurance company involved as they would lose their no-claims bonus.

Meanwhile, in 1981, seventeen year old Marcus Sarjeant is jailed for five years after firing blanks at the Queen. The would be murderer claimed that assassination was his biggest fantasy; very different to what most 17 year old boys are fantasising about and possibly the only one to include the Queen.

And it's Bibhutibhushan Bandhopadhyay! As they say in Bengali, to; walking, talking car-crash Amy Winehouse (24), walking, talking legend Linvoy Primus (34) and walking with his finger on the trigger, make enough figures 'till his pockets get bigger – rapper, Nas (34.) It was also on this day, that in 1982, Grace Kelly died after crashing her car.