Golf Central

Ten Broek prepares the old 'distract with the flag before wedge to the head' trick 

 

Many caddies are frustrated golfers themselves, yearning to be the one taking the shots, rather than just calling them. Lance Ten Broeck has more reason than most to be frustrated as he has the skills to pay the bills but no card with which to pay them.

Ten Broek made 162 cuts out of 352 career starts in his 20 years on the PGA Tour before spending the last decade as a caddy. As he has made more than 150 cuts he retains some privileges and so commits to play every event for which he is eligible and occasionally brings his own clubs with him. If there are no other alternates or a last second withdrawal, 51 year old Lance will get his chance to become the first man to be both caddy and player in the same week on Tour.

Two weeks ago he came close to playing in The Turning Stone Resort Championship but hit a snag when it emerged that he would be playing at the same as Jesper Parnevik for whom he has spent the majority of his caddying career serving. Ironically, when he came close to featuring in the Byron Nelson Classic after Tommy Armour III pulled out, he would have been paired with Lee Janzen and Parnevik. Jesper even offered to caddy for Ten Broek himself when John Cook's sore shoulder nearly ruled him out of the Buick Open. Unfortunately Cook played through the pain and we were denied the sight of Parnevik's bespoke, diamante-studded caddy uniform (probably).

With field sizes cut due to less daylight hours, it's pretty unlikely that Ten Broek will get his chance to play this year, but when it does come, he promises not to disgrace himself, even if his supporters do - he predicts that the gallery will be full of drunken, cheering caddies; a sight we're all looking forward to here, especially if it coincides with Parnevik with bag in hand.

"OK Brucie, I'll lead...I'll retire first, then you."

 

Lee 'Supermex' Trevino has had a change of heart over his retirement. Originally he had planned to make this month's AT&T Championship at Oak Hills his last professional appearance but a Champion's Tour official has confirmed that Trevino has decided to extend his career into next season. Although he has 29 Champions Tour victories to his name, he hasn't tasted success since 2000 so maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea if  The Merry Mex did put his clubs to the back of the garage behind his old tins of paint, lawnmower and rubber snakes.

So today was a big day in Texas for the Fall Series ... how did the big boys do?:  Do you mean John Daly? He says he has the flu or strep throat, or something, and he shot a 72.
No, I mean the other big guys. The big-name fellas who can make or break their chances for a Tour card for next year...:  Well, Jesper Parnevik is leading by four after firing a 61, which is the best of his career.
You mean Jesper the fancy-pants Swedish meatball who eats volcano dirt and hasn't won since 2001 on the PGA Tour?:  That's him. He stopped fiddling about in his missus' wardrobe rack, got himself a cool chapeau at a vintage shop, and started sorting through a bin of putters instead.
Jesper ditched his belly putter?:  It didn't go with the new Michael Stipe rig. He got himself a no-name-brand putter for a couple of bucks and made 8 birdies in his first 12 holes today.
That is one darn cool hat. What about the other players doing the tour-card limbo?:  Ex-PGA champ Bob Tway birdied the last four and is in a pack of 10 on 65. One of those is Robert Gamez, who has to do a Mexican jumping-bean trick all the way from No. 171 on the money list into the Top 125.
That Gamez guy is a human rubber band. Why is he back on the up-swing this time then?:  He says it's because of his short-game guru Stan Utley. And apparently they have good Mexican food around here. Carnitas, gorditas, cochinitas pibil ...
My 20 bucks are on Gamez to blow away the field...:  You said it, not me.

Laura Davies CBE, born on this day in 1963 in Coventry, admits she is not a Liverpool FC supporter by birth – though that never stopped Laura, England’s best female golfer of modern times, from Kop-ping a lifelong obsession to all things Anfield.
     She once explained: “In ’71 Liverpool lost to Arsenal in the FA Cup final. I was six and I felt sorry for them. I was six … what are you going to do? … And they wore red. I’ve always liked red.”
     OK, perhaps no one has still had the heart to remind Laura that she wasn't 6 in 1971, or that Arsenal also wear red. And so does Tiger Woods, particularly on Sundays. But that said, on proud display at Laura’s stately manor in Surrey are smelly old red Liverpool shirts once worn by Steven Gerrard, Michael Owen and Robbie Fowler, and she may be stalking Fernando Torres as we speak.
     On the golf side of her credit Laura owns four major titles, 67 professional victories (20 on the LPGA) and 7 LET Order of Merit titles in her esteemed career. With another win in a major or two more on the LPGA, long Laura gets her rightful place in the LPGA Hall of Fame.
     So happy 44th to Laura, who still loves her fast cars, slow race-horses and other fun stuff like quickie runs to the casino. Have a blinder!
     Also, on this day, in 1947, Harry Truman made the very first TV address by a US President – urging Americans, amongst other things, to avoid eating meat on Tuesdays and poultry products on Thursdays. Sitting by his grainy set in Chicago, we presume, was Ray A. Kroc, future founder of the McDonald’s fast food empire, who was trying to peacefully celebrate his 45th birthday at the time by “having a decent freaking meal, dammit! And why isn’t it on my table by 6pm! … Or sooner!”
     Hopefully Kroc (rest his saturated-fat sodden soul) was in a better mood on his b-day in ‘62, when the Beatles released the vinyl of “Love Me Do,” still played to this day on muzak in a Mickey D’s near you, or in ’69, when Monty Python first hit the Beeb’s TV screens.
     So it’s Quchjaj qoSlIj!, as they say in they say under the Golden Crotches in the Klingon Empire, to gorgeous Berkshire babe Kate Winslet (32, and we all know about her birthday suit!); and musical salutes to rocker Steve “I’m A Joker” Miller (64); annoying Irish activiste Bob “I’m Not Bono” Geldof (53); and Brian “I’m Not Bon Scott” Johnson, lead screecher of AC/DC.