'I knew I never should have ... played ... this ... stupid ... damn ... game ... ever again!'
So, how did Tiger look after 10 weeks without playing golf?...: Like he's spent a lot of time with his baby daughter.
Why? Was his golf so bad?...: No, it was great, he just looked like he's spent a lot of time with his baby daughter, that's all.
Explain, please. ...: Well, did you see his temper tantrum on the 18th hole? It was an all-time Tiger tantrum classic.
So, he acted a bit like Sam Alexis then?...: Not even she would dare try to chop the hell out of some poor defenceless underbrush with a golf club.
So the Tiger temper is still there. How's the golf?...: Great. Tiger was absolutely brilliant for 17 holes, until he dunked his approach on the 18th hole into the water. He took a double bogey to finish on 3-under and smashed up an iron.
Who's leading then?...: Jim Furyk's out front now at 4-under, trailed by Tiger, his pal Rory Sabbatini, Zach Johnson and Henrik Stenson at 3-under. But almost anyone can make a move except for poor Monty.
What happened to Monty?...: He might be wishing he skipped this trip, except for the splendid weather. He didn't make a birdie and shot 8-over for an 80.
Ouch. Well I suppose it's bad form to withdraw from an invitional tournament ...: Yep, and it's bad form to act like a 6-month-old child at your own invitational as well ...
Let's hope Monty and Tiger get their acts together ...: We can only hope ...