Golf Central

On this day in 1990, the US Vice President Dan Quayle stuck his foot in it again by ... playing a round of golf at the Cypress Point Club in Pebble Beach, California.

If Quayle's common sense had ever been as good as his golf game, the former veep might have avoided so many potshots during his time as the No. 2 to President George H.W. Bush from '89-93. And Quayle is still quite handy with the sticks - he was captain of the golf team at DePauw University in Indiana and plays off a very tidy index of 5.

But Quayle was an easy target, for his frequent verbal stumbles ("It's time for the human race to enter the solar system"), bumbles (misspelling "potato" as "potatoe" at an elementary school spelling bee) and fumbles in debates ("Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy"). Naturally, everyone thought Dan Quayle was thicker than a bag of ball-peen hammers.

Still, what was the big stink about the vice president playing golf? After all, Clinton teed it up every week, didn't he? ... and even Quayle's wife Marilyn once admitted: "Dan would rather play golf than have sex any day." ...

On this day in 1943, Major Bobby Jones, US Army Air Corps, kissed goodbye his wife Mary and three children at Atlanta's Peachtree Station and embarked for England and his role among thousands in the Battle of Normandy.

Retired from competitive golf since 1930, when Jones won the last three of his major titles, the great amateur champion was a rarity among famous sportsmen of his generation who served in wartime in that he actually ended up on the firing lines. Jones was not particularly gung-ho to go to war, but his famous sense of duty pushed him to volunteer.

Jones joined the Army Air Corps in 1942 at the relatively old age of 40, and due to his high intelligence, three university degrees, and legal background, was commissioned a captain and assigned to the 9th Air Force intelligence command, helping in preparations for the Allied invasion of Normandy. ...

It's Christmas, but in the world of golf December 25 is a bit of a sad day. Because on this day in 1995, the singer/actor and all-round cool little old wine drinker Dean Martin passed away at the age of 78 of lung cancer and emphysema.

Dino was a keen golfer, of course. Like most of the Vegas-based Rat Pack, the handsome crooner loved his golf and once said he would rather be a professional golfer than an entertainer; the pity of it was Martin wasn't a great player. But he supplied once of golf's best quotes ever when he quipped: "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."

And, kindly, Martin lent his name to the PGA Tour's Tucson, Arizona stop for four years. From 1972-75, the tournament with the funny conquistador's helmet as a trophy was known as the Dean Martin Tucson Open and Miller Barber, Bruce Crampton, and Johnny Miller (twice) were the champions.

It's a pity Dino is no longer with us, because he could have spared us the agony of the upcoming 2008 Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospitals for Children Open, which used to be known as the PGA Tour's Las Vegas stop ...

Spare a thought for South Africa's young star Trevor Immelman, the 2006 PGA Tour rookie of the year, who is having a bit of a uncomfortable Christmas this year. It was last Tuesday that the 28-year-old Immelman, the world's 19th-ranked golfer, had to undergo surgery in Johannesburg to remove a growth on his diaphragm.

Immelman won the Nedbank Golf Challenge in Sun City South Africa earlier in December with some brilliant golf, but had to withdraw just two holes into his first round at the South African Airways Open at Pearl Valley because intense pain in his right ribcage was causing him difficulty breathing.

Immelman is one of the Tour's truly nice young guys, and when he withdrew after trying to fight through the pain, his first thought was to apologise to playing partners David Frost and Darren Clarke. "This was a really difficult decision to make, one that frustrates me greatly, and I am truly sorry to let you guys down," Immelman said.

It's a good thing he did. The source of the pain was found to be a golf-ball sized growth on his diaphragm, not his ribs. After surgery, Immelman will need 4-8 weeks to recover and get back on the course.

Unfortunately, it's not the first strange ailment to bedevil Immelman. Two nights before the 2007 Masters, the South African had stomach cramps, and was found to have a parasite. That ailment caused Immelman to lose 22 pounds and make two trips to hospital.

Great guy, great talent, and unlucky fellow. But what a future Immelman has if he can stay healthy. Get well soon, Trev ...

One of the Christmas pressies your humble IGWT deputy editor got this year was a collection of pithy golf quotations and maxims called The Hole Is More Than The Sum Of The Putts, compiled by Colin Jarman.

A quick flip through these 432 fascinating pages unearthed this gem of a medical opinion:

"Golf increases the blood pressure, ruins the disposition, spoils the digestion, induces neurasthenia, hurts the eyes, calluses the hands, ties kinks in the nervous system, debauches the morals, drives men to drink or homicide, breaks up the family, turns the ductless glands into internal warts, corrodes the pneumogastric nerve, breaks off the edges of the vertebrae, induces spinal meningitis and progressive medacity, and starts angina pectoris."

Crikey! We think:
a) Doctors like golf too much, generally. Try visiting your NHS GP on a nice sunny afternoon ...
b) Wonder what Doctor Lamb would make of Trevor Immelman's current condition. And it seems what Trevor needs most is more golf, and fewer growths on his diaphragm and intestinal parasites!