Golf Central

Don't tell him we told you, because we don't want to jinx the big fellow ... but our favourite Swede Henrik Stenson could be on the verge of one of those wacky golfing feats that we love so much at IGWT.

Not long ago we told you about how big Henrik had flown some 45,000 miles in search of the bucks and golfing trophies. Air Warrior Supreme. Then, we told you about Henrik's hush-hush scouting mission to daily-fee Torrey Pines, where he paid his own greens fees and teed it up with the plebs. Municipal Golf Warrior Supreme.

Now, Henrik is in Abu Dhabi, gunning it out in the star-studded field at the Abu Dhabi Golf Championship. So far, so good: Stenson, one of the early starters, fired a 5-under 67 Thursday and was one shot off the lead after the first round. Big deal you say? Think about it: If Stenson can win in Abu Dhabi, he would be the first man to complete the trifecta of victories in all the major championships of the United Arab Emirates (Stenson won the Qatar Masters in 2006 and last year added the prestigious Dubai Desert Classic trophy to his collection).

Some people collect the colourful stamps from the UAE: Henrik Stenson collects golf trophies. And more power to him, because we love nicknames at IGWT ... Go Henrik of Arabia!

On this day in 1955, the actor Kevin Costner was born in Lynwood, California, and while he's a decent-standard golfer himself, he did a pretty darn good job of playing a pro golfer in the 1996 film Tin Cup - which (depending on which list you look at) is usually ranked in the Top 5 golf films of all time.

Tin Cup stars Costner as Roy "Tin Cup" McAvoy, and follows his tale as a dusty old driving range pro in Texas, who meets a girl (Rene Russo) who talks him into chasing his old dreams of the Tour, and going for it at the US Open. The film is notable for its reasonably decent depiction of both dusty driving-range life and tour pro life, and while many may dispute its plot lines, it's pretty fair entertainment. Hey, if you're looking for Citizen Kane, you're on the wrong website, pal ...

Now we've got a leaderboard. This is what I'm talking about! ...:  I agree. Robert Gamez is definitely making the most of his veteran status on the PGA Tour this week. A couple million more birdies and he's got it wrapped up for another 20 years or so.
Was it 20 years ago that Gamez won his first PGA Tour start and then nearly vanished ...:  Not quite like that. If you ever looked at this website once in a while, you'd see that it was in our humble On This Day In History feature (well, not actually on this day, but a few days and years ago, mind you) that Gamez won his first start in 2000, then went longer than anyone else to win another one.
I see we have DJ Trahan at the top of the leaderboard too. Does he spin some bad-ass grooves? ...:  Don't worry about him, even though DJ and Gamez are both 13 under. DJ Trahan is more harmless than DJ Homicide and DJ Lethal, believe it or not, and the only rapping he does are with his golf clubs. Not sure about the grooves on his clubs though ... 
So what about the other guys? We've got 3 rounds left ...:  You're right. They're swapping courses every day, everyone is fed up with slow play, the celebs and the rich-guy amateur hackers need to go away, but there is an attractive challenge mounting behind the leaders.
Who are these veterans then? ...:  Well, Justin Leonard fired a tidy little -8 with his funky wraparound swing and he's a proven winner. So is Steve Elkington, the Aussie who is only three shots back. And don't forget Q-School grad Brett Rumford, another Aussie who has mad game and is only four back.
I need big names, big names, big names, man! ...:  OK, well the best of the big names are in Abu Dhabi, but if you want big names, David Duval followed his opening 73 with a 77.
Oh dear ...:  Indeed. But John Daly shot 70 and if he keeps that up, even he can't make a JDMC (John Daly Missed Cut) or a JMWD (John Daly Withdrawal) or a JDMDF (John Daly Made Cut, But Did Not Finish).
Jeez, with all these acronyms flying about, you'd think we were in the military or something ...:  That's exactly what you need. Some military discipline. And stop hanging about in hotel rooms with the likes of George Lopez and Cheech Marin and DJ Trahan ... Bunch o' druggies.

Nice leaderboard isn't it? ...:  I'd say. Great field, superb, tough course. Going to be a good week ... It looks like this German kid Martin Kaymer is marching relentlessly across the desert with a 66. I've been tipping him for great things ...
Wait a minute ... I said "don't mention the war" before you got here ...:  And I didn't mention the war. It was just a journalistic "turn of phrase." I just said Kaymer is "marching relentlessly across the desert". Does that mean I mentioned the war? ... I'm not British, do I need to remind you ...
Well, it's implied that you're mentioning the war ...:  It wasn't bloody implied. I just said Kaymer is good. And he's really, really good. And he's well rested. I did not directly compare him to Rommel before El Alamein. Jesus, who am I now, Kelly Tilghman? And who are you, Basil Fawlty?
I was just saying ...:  Oh sod what you were saying. And by the way, whilst the German Kaymer was "marching relentlessly across the desert", the Vikings Henrik Stenson and Robert Karlsson were also laying to waste vast swathes of helpless British bodies with rounds of 67 and 68. Does that mean I was "mentioning the war" even though it happened 1500 years ago?
Fair enough, point taken ... We're plucky though ...:  And you're going to be a bit more plucky, lucky and some other things that rhyme. With a field like this at Abu Dhabi, anything can happen. But with Ian Poulter, Steve Webster, Lee Westwood, Paul Lawrie, and Jamie Donaldson all in striking range you never know ... Stick with your "pluck" if you want to.
Oh now you're getting into British stereotypes aren't you ...:  Not hardly. The Aussie Adam Scott is in the field too, and he's the best player here. My guess is if Kaymer doesn't "relentlessly" take down this field, then Scott will.
Aussies aren't known for their relentlessness ...:  'Course not. Unless you count Greg Norman's quest for babes and gold, Rupert Murdoch's media empire, the cricket team destroying everything in its path ... and the Olympic swimmers, and the fact that every bartender in London is Australian, and the ...
OK, OK, you've got me. Let's just stick to the marching German Kaymer please ...:  OK. Ready? Ein, zwei, drei ... schnell! ...

What the hell do white outfits, Rory Sabbatini's belt buckle and the wicked winds of Waialae have to do with this grand game of golf that we know and love? You might ask, and we are here to answer, with the 10 things we've learned from golf this week that have made us a bit more worldly wise than we were a week ago ...