Golf Central

You know what golf needs more of? ...: What's that. What's your newest grand plan to revolutionise our great game?
More fights. You know. We need some proper knock-down, drag-outs ...: What, you mean like ice hockey? Football? Baseball? Guys just throwing down randomly on the tee box because they don't like each other?
Yeah. The way it is, they walk around the course, they play great golf, but they never fight ...: Oh, I see. You must be looking at that leaderboard over there, and you see the name of Rory Sabbatini right next to the name of Tiger Woods.
That's it! Man, it would be great to see those guys beat the absolute living --- : Easy there. Who are you? Frank Warren? Listen, there's going to be enough of a fight on our hands with this great field here.
OK, OK, I was just saying ...: Well stop it. Mind you, Troy Matteson and Brad Adamonis do sort of sound like World Wrestling Federation guys ...
Who are they?: They're on top, with Matteson at 7-under and Adamonis a shot behind. But it gets really interesting behind them.
Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, that's all you think about ...: Well, he said he played "badly" and still made it around in minus-5 in his first official PGA Tour round since September 16. He owns this course, and he's two shots back along with Rory and Stuart Appleby. And some interesting names just around the corner: the young hotshot Anthony Kim is 4-under with Charles Howell.
How about Camilo Villegas? ...: Well "Señor Amor" managed to keep his eyes off the San Diego hotties long enough to check in at 3-under. And Lefty is on minus-2. So, it's going to be interesting as the weekend shakes down ...
Hey, do you see those guys on those hang-gliders over by the fourth fairway?: Yeah. Why?
I wonder how easy it would be to knock one of them kites out of the sky with a hard pull off the tee ...: Man! What's up with your violence trip? Does it have something to do with the IGWT newsletter?
What's the IGWT newsletter?: You tell me ...

On this day in 1918, the US Golf Association did one of its many about-faces and declared the national golfing hero, Francis Ouimet, an amateur again, much to Ouimet's eternal relief. The 1916 decision to strip Ouimet of his amateur status was one of the USGA's first and all-time bits of nasty dealing: Ouimet, after all, was credited with boosting golf's popularity in America after his stunning 1913 victory over British professionals Harry Vardon and Ted Ray at the US Open.

And in 1916, the hard-working Ouimet opened a sporting goods store in Boston, selling tennis rackets and baseballs and such, and the boffins at the USGA declared him a professional. Now, this was a big deal at the time ...

Guess who's playing some of the best golf in the world over the last four months ...: I don't know, who ...
Guess ...: I hate these guessing games. And I beat the readers do too. So why don't you just tell me.
OK. Lee Westwood.: Indeed he is. And there's our Lee, firmly on top of the leaderboard after round one in Qatar with a nifty score of 5-under.
Look it up to see how he's playing ...: OK ... wow ... Westwood is joint runner-up in his last two starts, and he has 10 Top-10 finishes in his last 11 starts. And he came in fourth in Tiger's event in December. I agree with you now, Lee's playing some very good golf. It must have been that Me, Myself & I feature he did for us that settled him down.
If you say so. But don't forget about Anton Haig ...: How can you forget Anton Haig, the South African with the name of a hitman or "international man of mystery" straight out of a spy novel.
If I ever write a spy novel, I'm going to invent a character called Anton Haig ...: You go ahead and do that.
Well, he did say he "needs full-time surveillance" ...: He was talking about his swing, you idiot. Do you think he'll be walking round the hotel tonight in a full-length black leather coat? No. You ought to keep an eye on the rest of the leaderboard though.
Why's that?: There are some darn good players here: the Aussie Adam Scott, Monty, Rory McIlroy, Charl Schwartzel, Sergio Garcia ... and they're all in the hunt ...
Who's your money on tonight to win the Commercialbank Qatar Masters presented by Dolphin Energy?: I'm not going to say that, because it's too long. I'm going with plain old Qatar Masters, and Adam Scott.
Why Adam Scott?: I've just got a feeling that good things happen to good people ...
What makes him a good person?: We'll let you know if we get that interview ...

Time to add to the adage you can’t keep a good man down with the sub-clause:  you can never shut a megalomaniac with stupid hair up, either.

Having already upset everyone in Scotland (not all that difficult really) with his plans for a billion dollar resort In Aberdeenshire, it seems that the plans to take the project to Country Antrim in Northern Ireland are quietly moving forward. Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond is so desperate to impress the Trumpster, that he’s ordered an enquiry to find out why planning permission was turned down by local authorities.

Meanwhile, a member of Trump’s empire of wealth, George Sorial, has flown in to Northern Ireland this week. Strenuous denials abound that the trip is anything other than exploratory, despite the Rev Ian Paisley having tapped up Trump in person on a recent trip to the US.

How we would have dearly loved to be at that meeting… See what our friends at the Belfast Telegraph are saying about it.