Golf Central

After a string of statements more bold than his attire, Ian Poulter has claimed that his comments about being Tiger Woods’ main rival were “taken out of context.” That old chestnut... He stated that he intended no disrespect to his fellow professionals and to be fair to Poulter, the article shows little evidence of any malice. 

However, he refused to apologise for arguably the most offensive (ahem) piece of the article, the nude cover shot. He told BBC Sport "You know, everyone sees me with my clothes on week-in, week-out." Yes we do Ian, and to be honest, we'd rather it stayed that way. 

Whilst trolling around the golf blogs of the world (we still refuse to say "blogosphere" - dammit, we just said it!) there is one thing you can count on. If you visit The Waggle Room, a US-based general golf blog which is part of the growing Sports Blog Network, you're gonna get pretty much straight-down-the-middle Mulligan Stu.

Mulligan Stu is the gaffer of The Waggle Room, and he's kind of the Fred Funk of golf bloggers: Out of 18 tee shots, 17 are dead straight down the gut. About 280 yards out. Not spectacular, but damn solid. The news, solid opinion, and lots of it. And you can count on it.

And then, on your birthday you stumble across the random one that Mulligan Stu hits, like this post about Ernie Els overtaking Tiger Woods in Dubai, in which Mulligan Stu suddenly goes all free-verse on us with the following riff:

"The great cat straineth against leash
In land of sand, third setting sun
Great steel forged in fire, no birds mark the sky,
Returneth home to hot Swedish nanny"

As Fred Couples once said, describing the time when Davis Love III shanked a tee shot 50 yards into the bushes: "We weren't laughing because he whiffed it. ... We were laughing because ... it was funny."

Nice one, Stu. That made our birthday ...

OK, we've got caught up. Are you ready for the grand finale?: I am. The question is whether you are. Because last time I saw you was in a lift trying to find Camilo Villegas' room and 3 or 4 blonde babes that were going to a "partay" ...:
Well, I never found the "partay". And they weren't all blonde. There was one redhead ...: Yeah, I know. And one brunette who used to be blonde or the other way around. Are you actually going to do your job as a reporter or do I have to do it for you?
You gotta do it for me, man. I was at the 16th all day,  man, and then Cam- ...: OK, OK, I'll ask the questions. You give me the answers, OK? Ready? How's Camilo Villegas doing?
He shot a 2-over 73 and pretty much blew himself out of the tournament. But he did pretty good with ...: Never mind! Who's on top of the leaderboard?
Big-hitting JB Holmes, all alone at 14-under. Leading by two shots ...: Good job. ... Take it nice and slow, deep breaths ... okay. Who else is in striking range?
Well, Charles Warren and Jonathan Byrd are minus-12 ...: Not exactly names to put fear in big JB Holmes' boots are they? What about Lefty? Tell me how Lefty is doing in his second home of Arizona.
He had a good round. Went 4-under to take it to 10, and he's definitely in the picture. Sort of. ...: So, we have an interesting scenario here. The world's No. 1 golfer, Tiger, is four shots back in Dubai, and Phil, the world's No. 2 is four shots back in Arizona. So that means that the two best players in the world are going to have to pull off stunning comebacks to add to their embarrassment of riches.
Pretty much. Although Camilo's embarrassment of riches ain't bad ...: Golf, baby. Golf! Think about golf. ... So, do you think either Tiger or Phil are going to win this weekend?
Well, I'm not in Dubai, obviously, but I have to say no ...: Wow. Who do you think is going to win, then?
I'm going to say on the European Tour ... Stenson, overtaking Els. And on the PGA Tour, I'm going with the Aussie Nick O'Hern, overtaking Holmes ...: Bold predictions. What do you think Camilo Villegas is going to shoot? I said he was a typical "3-under-par" player ...
69 is not out of the question then. ...:
Beat it!

On this day in 1969, a nearly silent South African who would quietly slip in (twice!) and nab America's most precious golf treasure was born in Pietersburg (now Polokwane) in Limpopo province ... Retief Goosen.

When Goosen's countrymen Bobby Locke and Gary Player arrived on US shores, there was plenty of fanfare. Same with Nick Price, who had a proven track record before he started winning major championships. But in the early days of his pro career, Goosen was the shy guy who stood on the sidelines and let his golf clubs do the talking. Retief's mother said her son's retiring side was due to having been struck twice by lightning as a youngster. But that all changed when Retief's clubs when he won the US Open Championships in 2001 and 2004 ninja-style ...

You see? Golf is easy ...: What are you trying to say? Are you doing another one of your Sun headline things on me?
Not exactly. But did you see what the Big Easy did on Saturday?: Indeed I did. But that doesn't mean that golf is easy. Just because Tiger Woods moans about how hard golf is from time to time doesn't mean it's easy. What exactly is your point?
My point is that Ernie Els made this Dubai Desert Classic easier to watch ...: I'll agree with you there. After Tiger went 65 in the first round, it was almost ... em, easy ... to switch off, but Ernie really put the pedal to the metal on Saturday.
Some round. Did you see that 5-wood he blasted to set up eagle on No. 10?: It was awesome. Ernie had 246 yards to the front, the flag was 266, and he hit it about 265.5.
Great shot. And Tiger was all over the place ...: Yeah, he was. It's hard to almost fathom right now the number 73 next to Tiger's name, but he'll come out wearing red on Sunday, and even four shots back he's so dangerous.
Even Ernie admits it ...: He's a veteran and he knows. He said before yesterday that he needed two 64s to win ... well, he's got one 65. And everyone else wants back in it, so hang on for a great finish. He says he's going to have to shoot low because someone like Tiger or Henrik Stenson will.
Do you think that Tiger is going to win then?: No. But I have my doubts on whether Ernie remembers how to win. Don't forget what he did on the 18th a month-and-a-half ago at the Alfred Dunhill at Leopard Creek. Ernie knows what he has to do, but whether he can pull it off is another question.
OK, straight man. Where are all your jokes?: I'm looking at one right now. But do you want to hear something funny?
Let me have it ...: Tiger is the least of Ernie's worries. He should really be worried about Stenson, who is the most consistent birdie machine in the world right now other than Tiger. And Stenson is only two shots back. And both Henrik and Lee Westwood have major In Golf We Trust karma rolling right now as well.
Speaking of IGWT karma, where are all the chicks this weekend?: In Arizona following Camilo Villegas. Get with it, man ...