Golf Central

Briny ...: Huh?
I can't stop saying that. Briny ...: That's enough now ...
Briny ...: God I hope Briny Baird drops out of contention today so I don't have to hear you say that anymore.
Briny: ...: Yes. From now on we're just going to call him Michael Jancey Baird, which is his real name. He's a good ol' Southern boy and a big-time fisherman, wears one of those goofy straw hats, and when he was three years old he told his mother he wanted to be called "Briny" because he liked the way it sounded.
I agree with him. Briny ...: And you also have the mentality of a three-year-old. At least my three-year-old can say words like "avocado" and "Cholula" and "hydrangea". Mind you, he just likes the way they sound as well.
B ---: Stop it! So yes, the son of former pro Butch Baird is your leader on 8-under after a 69 on Friday. Baird - notice I am not saying the "B word" - is gunning for his first PGA Tour win in 254 starts. One shot behind him are the Aussie veteran Peter Lonard and journeyman Jay Williamson.
Anybody else worth noting except Briny?: Japan's Shigeki Maruyama hit some spectacular shots and pulled some marvellous facial expressions on Friday and he's joined on 6-under with grinder Tommy Armour III and defending champ and all-round good guy Nick Watney.
Aha ... I see an Englishman on the leaderboard too, Brian "Briny" Davis: Don't say that to his face or the Londoner might go all Bubba "Briny" Watson on your ass.
Why? What did Bubba do?: He acted like a spoiled rotten golf pro. He blamed the likeable Aussie Steve "Briny" Elkington for "making noises" during his tee shot on the 10th hole, and left the course without shaking hands.
Maybe Elkington said "Briny" ...: In which case I couldn't blame Bubba for getting ticked off ...

Hi ...: Is that all you're saying for yourself? Why so sheepish?
Well ...: Cat's got your tongue? Or has Lee Westwood got your tongue? Hah! Gotcha!
OK, OK ...: Say it!
"I should not have questioned your wisdom about not running Lee Westwood's picture on the site front yesterday" ... You satisfied?: Sort of. Why, please tell our lovely readers, are you so contrite today?
Because Lee Westwood is back in the lead after Day 3, and therefore you would have wasted a chance to use a picture of another player on the sitefront after Day 1. So you know it all, you freaking Oracle of Golf Website Wisdom ...: Hey mate, that last bit was out of order. But guess whose picture is going to be on the site front today?
Geoff Ogilvy?: Smart-ass. I'll give you one more chance before you have to start running.
Lee Westwood, Oh Oracle ... Since you're the bleeping Oracle, why don't you tell me something about the golf?: It's my job to say that to you. But anyway, I digress. Ahem (cough cough) indeed, your leader is Lee Westwood on 12-under-par. But this affair is very tight and will likely not be decided until the final putt drops tomorrow in Andalucia.
OK, Cliche Boy. Tell me some more ...: Well, once again the Frenchman Thomas Levet finds himself sandwiched between a pair of Englishmen in Oliver Fisher and David Lynn who are all on 11-under. But there are eight players within three shots of the lead, including five Swedes, and you know how they are.
No, I don't actually, why don't you tell me?: I was bluffing. Anyway, Westwood is looking good after his 66 and it sounds like he's got his mind in shape as well as his body. The Masters is just around the corner and it looks like our formerly big lad from Worksop is ready to be a proper world Top 10 player. Mind you, he's got to sort out that little problem about winning in the States ...
So who's your pick for tomorrow then Oracle?: I'm going with Lee Westwood. And you?
Uhhh ... see you later ...: Why the rush?
Oli Fisher!

On this day in 1980, 28 years before Tiger Woods uttered his now-legendary F-bombs last week at Doral, Tom Kite and Lanny Wadkins were caught up in a microphone vortex of the old PGA Tour commissioner Deane Beman's doing when both said things they probably regretted on live microphones during an experimental TV broadcast.

The place was at the then-Heritage Classic - the tour stop universally known as "Harbour Town" on the PGA Tour. Several players were approached for live mic-ing (Jack Nicklaus, among others, declined) but several players at Harbour Town were fitted with live mics, and some of them forgot what they were doing ...

On this day in 1999, David and Bob Duval became the first father and son combination to win professional golf tournaments on the same day. First off, former club pro Bob beat Bruce Fleisher to win the Senior PGA Tour's Emerald Coast Classic by two shots, then kicked back in the clubhouse to watch his world No. 1 son David on TV, as David captured The Players Championship by two over Scott Gump ...

You should have used Lee Westwood's picture on the site front yesterday ...: Why's that?
Well, he's not leading anymore so there goes your chance ...: It's not a hard-and-fast rule that we have to use the leader's pic on the site front every day. Those idiots did that last week on the WCG at Doral, but they're idiots.
Well, I'm calling you an idiot for not using Lee Westwood yesterday.: Man! Can't make anyone happy around this place. So can we talk about the golf then?
Only in context of whose picture is going to be on the site front.: What, are you on strike? OK, if you're going to be that way, big Peter Hedblom of Sweden is tied with not-so-big Matthew Millar of Australia in the leader's chair at 8-under.
Yawn. So who's going to be on the site front?: Well, it's either Hedblom or Millar, but it can't be both because it's just too much of a tiny wee picture. Probably Millar because we haven't used him lately.
Yeah, but they used Ogilvy all four days last week. Don't you think that's too much of an Aussie presence on the site front?: I'm just going to ignore you ... And there's a brace of Englishmen in second at 7-under, along with the Frenchman Thomas Levet.
None of whom are going to be on the site front ...: No. Nor is Westwood, as you said, after he slipped back to 6-under with some balky putting, nor yesterday's poster boy hero Danny Willett, the amateur who dropped back to 3-under by scraping around in 75.
Maybe he couldn't take the pressure of being on our site front.: Maybe.
Can I say something please? It hardly seems fair that when you have co-leaders you can only use one picture on the site front ...: Stop obsessing about the site front.
I can't ...: OK, you're just weird. If you're not careful I'm gonna put your picture on the site front.
What would the headline say?: "MISSING PERSON" ...