Augusta in 12 words: Far more F-bombs being dropped by the Big Cat than long putts
Rumour: In between supping cold Heinekens in the press facility, one of the hot topics among hacks is the lack of roars around Augusta this year. Veteran newsmen are full of tales about the "old days" and how the grounds would echo for birdies and eagles. And it's true, since the "Tiger-proofing" of Augusta the place has gone nearly as quiet as a cathedral. Even Geoff Ogilvy agrees: "They will have to look at what they are doing with the golf course," he said.
Player spotting: Ben Hogan! Well, not it essence, but according to legend Gary Player, second-round leader Trevor Immelman's gorgeous swing is the closest thing to Hogan's action since the Wee Ice Mon himself. We take Player's hyperbole with a grain of salt (especially when he's speaking about fellow South Africans) but who really knows better? Gary Player is the one man who has played a lot of golf with both Hogan and Immelman ...
Star spotting: Too busy for a lot of this to be honest, but somebody told us they saw Jerry Jones, the filthy rich owner of the NFL's Dallas Cowboys. Apparently he looks just like what he is: A filthy rich sports team owner. Also seen! One of our heroes, the NBC broadcasting legend Tom Brokaw and author of the superb book The Greatest Generation (about the citizen soldiers of World War II).
Moody players: To be honest, everyone is on their best behaviours, but that's pretty much par for Augusta for the players, who are scared to the tees to offend anyone at the club. One guy who isn't worried about anyone in a green blazer is - of course - Tiger, who has carte blanche to go round swearing like a rum-riddled sailor. Inside the ropes with Tiger on Friday was no place to be with virgin ears or little ones ...
Heroes of the day: Got to make special mention of ESPN.com's tireless blog warrior Jason Sobel, who seemingly never moves from his spot in the press facility from 8am to 7.30pm each day. Jason, your blog is great, mate and it's funny as hell, but it's good to get outside and move around once in a while ... Also, mad props to the SAS-like stealth mobile phoners who are feeding Sobel with info from round the course in violation of Augusta rules ...
Villain of the day: We're going to single out the Golf Gods for handing nearly every bad break they could to Tiger Woods, for whom we rarely have to apologise. Tiger had several putts cross the cellophane bridge and got more than his share of bad bounces on the front nine. And they also knocked out our hero Freddie Couples, who missed his first cut in 24 years by one stroke. Bad Golf Gods! ... 'Til tomorrow! ...