Golf Central

On this day in 1979, 27-year-old Fuzzy Zoeller became the first golfer since Gene Sarazen to win the Masters in his first attempt (and Sarazen doesn't really count because the event was only two years old in 1935), when he birdied the second playoff hole, knocking off Ed Sneed and Tom Watson, and celebrating by chucking his putter skyward ...

One of the newest "traditions" of winning the Masters for the champion is a trip to New York City on the Monday following to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman and read the show's iconic Top 10 list.

So our Trevor Immelman duly obliged and grinned his way through the "Top 10 Ways Trevor Immelman's Life Has Changed Since Winning The Masters" list. Here's the list Letterman's writers gave the 2008 champ:

10. I've been elevated from "unknown" to "obscure" ...
 9. Thanks to the prize money, I no longer have to buy generic root beer
 8. Suddenly I don't look so foolish for trademarking "Immelmania"
 7. I'm BFFs with Lauren and Heidi from "The Hills"
 6. President Bush called me to congratulate me on winning Wimbledon
 5. When my caddy recommends a club, I can say "excuse me, how many Masters have you won?"
 4. Invited to Masters Winners' Week on Jeopardy
 3. I get a lifetime supply of them little pencils
 2. Guess who's playing 36 holes with the Pope this weekend?
 1. Get to put my arm around Tiger Woods and say "Maybe next year"

Some good zingers there, especially the Immelmania and Bush items (In fact we should have trademarked "Immelmania" over the weekend). But we think born-again Christian Zach Johnson got a zippier No. 1 last year: "1. Thanks to global warming, next year I'm playing without pants."

Immelman then had a courtside seat for the New York Knicks-Boston Celtics NBA game at Madison Square Garden and appeared on Live with Regis and Kelly on Tuesday morning. Meanwhile, the vanquished Tiger had surgery ... the tables have turned, golf fans, if only for a few weeks ...

We bring you the best in Masters coverage as we have done since we were founded in 1785, which makes us one of America's oldest newspapers. So take that you stuffy Brits! ... Once again, as only we can do in Augusta, we not only bring you the news that is fit to print, but also some (OK, all of it) that we have made up. Read on to find out What Didn't Happen At The Masters But Could Have ...

Man, we've got some powerful mojo ...: We sure do ... Want a Magner's with that mojo?
Yes please ... Ahhh! ... Sure feels good to be right ...: Ahhh! ... It sure does ...
I think we should put a little banner on the top of the website that says: "Winners of major champions guaranteed ...": Just dial 1-800-555-IGWT ...
Major Mojo Consultantcy ... Wait 'til the American golf press find out we were behind Trevor Immelman's win all along ...: Shhhh! ... don't tell 'em about the mojo thing. Don't tell them we backed Trevor since Round 2 and even put up a message on the site front saying: "Where we are blatant cheerleaders for Trevor Immelman!"
I won't if you don't. Well, they're already making excuses for Tiger ...: I know, I know. Let them steam for awhile. They fully expected their precious Tiger Woods to win and when he didn't they pretend they've never heard of Trevor Immelman ... They're overplaying the whole "a good Cinderella story" line because of his injury problems ... the tumour removed from the diaphragm, all that. But then some of them are try to paint him as a flukey champ of their precious masters.
What?! Trevor Immelman a flukey champ?: Yeah, I heard a radio guy saying that. Now Rich Beem, Todd Hamilton, Shaun Micheel -- those are fluky major champions ... But if our mojo's anything to go by, I think Immelman's going to win more than one ...
Well, we've already shown we can make it happen if we want.: We sure have.
Ahhh! ... Good to be right.:  It sure is. How bout another Magners?
Don't mind if I do ... thanks. It was a bit dicey out there for a while ...: Well, there wasn't much drama out there but when Trevor hit into the water on 16, you realised if a bogey and a double came along, it would be a playoff with Tiger Woods. No fun.
It was tough enough out there as it was.: True, true, and Immelman's swing and nerves held up when hardly anyone else's did. Snedeker and Flesch went backwards, Tiger stayed static, and really only Miguel Ángel Jiménez did any real scoring.
And as for Tiger, he has to settle for second place a second year in a row.: Yes, and I bet he doesn't like it. But it goes to show how tough the conditions were out there when the world's greatest player can only shoot even-par in the final round of a major, and just how good Immelman's wire-to-wire job really was ... Yeah, he shot a 75 ... but he beat Tiger Woods by shooting a 75.
I think that's something our American friends are going to forget about for a while ...: Conveniently, they probably will just place the blame on Tiger instead.
Shame, that. They should pay more attention to Immelman. And I think we've said this before, he's a really nice guy ...: Really nice, genuine, mature, well-grounded. The ladies love him, and the guys like him too 'cos he's a decent bloke with a gorgeous swing to die for.
Speaking of which, how's your mojo hanging?: Not bad. Still got some left. You?
Plenty ... Who we going to use it on next?: I dunno. Not Geoff Ogilvy.
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